The word pretend seems to have negative connotation, and the pretender has been received by public as a dishonest person. I remember how Freddie Mercury at the end of his career chose to sang this song as a way to asking for public's forgiveness and understanding.
To be honest we all love pretender. I think we all are born to be pretender, because that what the world want and need. We have been shaped to be pretender. To pretend is in all conscious and subconscious mind of us. It is us, we all are pretender. Pretend is our defence mechanism for our existence, even the nature justify the pretentious being with all the camouflages.
I remember when I was kid, I like to play being someone else. When I was Kid, I already know how to behave and act in certain way to please adults.
I think pretend is somehow the act of deny myself, my selfish self. It is in-line with the Bible verse Matthew 16:24,
Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.
We should embrace the act of pretend in a different view. It is an act of self love, accept the pretentious act as a way to protect ourselves, for people's benefits and do not harming other beings. Self conflict is okay, but do not condemn ourselves when our brain and our heart react differently.